your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
