You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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