She went from zero to smokin in five shots
home. puking in laundry basket.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
