why didn't you poke me back
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
