I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
