this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
