You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
