had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
