I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
