Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you didnt know i had herpes?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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