he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
