STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
