okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If I die, sorry about rent.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
