this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
