I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
