hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize