I wannas sexs uuuuu
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
