I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
