the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
