apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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