I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
