words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
