I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
