Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
my poor anus
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
