you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize