So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
