The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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