I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
