i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
