She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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