Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
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