A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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