his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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