If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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