I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
