I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
