Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
