The best revenge is premature balding
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
