Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
