Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my being single is dangerous.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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