You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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