I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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