are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
