She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
