How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
