Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
