I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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