I must be too annoying 4 u.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
