why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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