Already got asked if we're dating
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
