but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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