ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
