Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
