Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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