Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
