She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
