And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
