i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
