ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
