Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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