Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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