grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
