the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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