I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Randomize
