Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
